Choices

BeatOn_WriteOn · 10-29-2006, 11:21 PM

This was my first poem, if I remember correctly... It's not my best, but I still wanted to put it up for feedback.

~~~
Don’t want to be forgotten
Don’t want to be alone
My greatest fear is that I’ll never
Know just where I’m going

Those friends who life me up
Can be the same who let me fall
Running ‘round and ‘round on the fields of sounds
And memories

My heart is heavy
Full of the past’s bitter lullaby
With words of truth covered up by lies
Fake laughter overshadowed by nighttime cries

Life is falling, crashing on me
Growing up didn’t seem so tough in fairytales
Endless days of endless thoughts
My mind is racing
Always racing
In never ever stops

As much as I hate it, the past is still there
And I’ll never know what the future brings until I get there
All I know is what’s happening now
And I know it’s hard, but I still believe
That everything happens for a reason
So I bet if given the choice
I wouldn’t change it at all

girlonfire · 11-08-2006, 05:31 PM

reminds me too much of my life. you have good rythm, something a lot of people find hard to grasp, beat, it gives poems flow and you capture it. hehe, love it.

BeatOn_WriteOn · 11-08-2006, 06:21 PM

haha, thanks! Well, this was actually a song at first, so that might be where the rhythm comes from.

10-29-2006, 11:21 PM	#1
BeatOn_WriteOn TeenLit Newbie Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 17	Choices This was my first poem, if I remember correctly... It's not my best, but I still wanted to put it up for feedback. ~~~ Don’t want to be forgotten Don’t want to be alone My greatest fear is that I’ll never Know just where I’m going Those friends who life me up Can be the same who let me fall Running ‘round and ‘round on the fields of sounds And memories My heart is heavy Full of the past’s bitter lullaby With words of truth covered up by lies Fake laughter overshadowed by nighttime cries Life is falling, crashing on me Growing up didn’t seem so tough in fairytales Endless days of endless thoughts My mind is racing Always racing In never ever stops As much as I hate it, the past is still there And I’ll never know what the future brings until I get there All I know is what’s happening now And I know it’s hard, but I still believe That everything happens for a reason So I bet if given the choice I wouldn’t change it at all

11-08-2006, 05:31 PM	#2
girlonfire Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 207	lol reminds me too much of my life. you have good rythm, something a lot of people find hard to grasp, beat, it gives poems flow and you capture it. hehe, love it. __________________ "I wrote how the first science was made by magic..." -Lydia.M

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11-08-2006, 06:21 PM	#3
BeatOn_WriteOn TeenLit Newbie Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 17	haha, thanks! Well, this was actually a song at first, so that might be where the rhythm comes from.