heres one of my poems tell me what you think of it

[corym312]

Yelling, Screaming
they stand there
in the dark room,
looking sad,
no one comes,
no one cares,
they're all alone

what do you think of it?

[Ameerah8]

Originally Posted by corym312

Yelling, Screaming
they stand there
in the dark room,
looking sad,
no one comes,
no one cares,
they're all alone

what do you think of it?

I think the 'what do you think of it?' part should be in the actual poem. Makes it more unique.
I'm not going to bad bash your work for two reasons: one, I think you should keep writing and I personally find bad bashing someone's work rude and depressing. And two, does it not seem like this is what everyone is writing about? If I bad bashed yours it would only be fair if I bad bashed everyone else. Try writing about something different, taste test all the different flavors that poetry offers us. Experiment. Explore. Enlighten(I seem to like the E's don't I?).

[whiskeyGirl]

I get what shes sayin, but at the same time most write whats in their heart. Its hard to focus on other things, most just want to get the words out...the pain out. It is good and i really hope to see more of your work on here.