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|07-21-2006, 09:31 PM||#1|
pointless minus the point
So i've been grounded for awhile(try two months) and I came up with this. BTW welcome to all the new people that I haven't seen, will try and post a comment on your writing.
I hate being grounded. When I was seven, I used to believe the sole purpose of it was to make you go into puberty faster, nothing to do with the fact that you broke your dresser pretending it was a staircase into space, or that you gave your sister a bloody nose (she deserved it). Back then being grounded was a privilege, for the greatly destined. At school all you had to do was mention you newest groundation period and all of a sudden you’re the coolest of cool bravest of brave.
Three years of middle school got me out of that phase awful quick. Groundation is the prize of fun deprived teenagers around the globe. With its millions of names and attributes, it all comes down to the same thing; it’s something no sane teenager wants.
But the question always has and will be “Why are you grounded?” The answer, half the time you don’t even know, the other half you wish you didn’t know.
I’m told parents have a lie detector in their brains, a third ear on top of their head, like the teacher from ‘wayside school gets a little stranger’, that hears your thoughts. They look at you for one minute, if you look even the tiniest bit guilty, you get charged with treason, thievery, and harassment of siblings. Their usually right, but still, what happened to the benefit of doubt? It must have died with the dodos.
My wall was made of approximately 100 planks of wood. The floor, approximately 250 tiles. That was kid stuff compared to how many parallel line were in my room, I’d lost count at 893, and that was only one third of the way around the room.
Would you rather be blind or deaf? Fall or drown to your death? Be lonely all you life or bleed to death? What sounds worse, moist or used? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Is it grammatical correct to say ‘the yolk are white’ or ‘the yolk is white’? My English teacher and spell-check both got that wrong.
“Can’t get on the computer, can’t play outside, can’t call anyone interesting,” I mentally ticked off everything I couldn’t do. “Can’t have fun, can’t continue to be creative, and can’t play video games. Could not, would not, should not.”
“I can pick at scabs, bite my nails, plan to take over the world" (insert evil laugh here), " Draw pointless squiggles, and watch the Wiggles! Sounds like so much fun!” This is what groundation brings people to. Insanity! Although I must say, being sane is rather boring, which brings me to the reason I was grounded in the first place.
Short version: Girls likes’ boy, boy likes girl. Boy cheats on girl, girl and girl’s friend (this is me) get revenge on cheating boy by slashing tires and defacing car windows. Parking lot in which girls slashed tires and defaced windows had camera. Both girls get caught.
How do the Wiggles come into all of this? They don’t, but the Wiggles drove me to do it! It’s all their fault I tell you!
Oh well, was fun while it lasted. Next time we’ll remember to check for cameras. On a scale of one to ten, this heist was about a...five and two thirds. A ten would be the time when me and Leah and a bunch of other kids snuck into the school and replaced the recording of national anthem with a recording of toilets flushing. We never got caught, but the whole school (excluding all authority figures) knew it was us. My teenage-hood memories are something I am never going to regret. But only because I’m going to become some filthy rich lawyer who can get all my misdemeanors erased by all the people I’ll know in higher places.
I love life. It’s squares of golden cinnamon taste better than Frosted flakes any day.
Tweedledee (To Alice): I know what you're thinking about, but it isn't so, nohow.
Tweedledum: Contrarwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't it ain't