A Stranger is (excerpts)

[Imrahil1234]

Ive been working on this for a while, its sort of releasing some personal demons, but its also a story about love and forgivness. Im still working on it and im up to like 10,000 words, so ill summarize it and put some excerpts, ask me if you want to read the whole thing and i'll send it to you np. The characters are somewhat real people, (based on real people i should say)

Okay, so. A family of 3 Jamie-13 Matt-17. Matts friend Jake-18, and a few other characters introuduced later. and their father live in a small apartment in westen massachusetts. Jamie dissapears one day after school, its a story about one event connecting several people, and bringing them together, while Matt fills the void left in his life with the new people brought into it, there is a bit of a twist, but that is the basic idea.

Excerpt from Chapter 1
“think your cool hanging out with older kids, what happened cant get any friends your own age?” they laughed at their own joke, until the saw Jake turn his head, and flash a look that would of stopped someone in their tracks, and they decided he wasn’t worth their time. Such was my brother’s life, moronic kids usually picking on the quiet kid, who I always thought liked school, but it was one of those things I never asked, that now I guess I’ll never know. Weeks later, Jake would tell me that he thought he was the last one to see my brother, and if he could go back in time, he would have been glued to him, playing bodyguard, Jake was like another (sometimes I thought better) brother to Jamie.


Chapter 2
My father, physically anyway wasn’t someone that on first glance you would think was “strong”. His tall, pencil thin frame and his sharp features fit perfectly with his personality, quiet and thoughtful. It also screamed out the fact that I don’t think he ever got really angry, yelled, fought, or hurt anything that breathed in his life. He was one of those people that didn’t say anything unnecessary, but when he said something, you could know it was important, and had something behind it. He had the kind of strength though that makes you able to raise two kids on your own, even after the death of their mother.

Chapter 4- The first day of forever
Jamie wasn’t entirely familiar with where he was at first, but it all seemed familiar, like something he knew in the back of his mind was coming, but didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t feel like anything unusual had happened, nothing seemed out of place to him. The rain fell down around him as he lay there in the waist high grass long dead and brown by winter’s chill, but he didn’t feel cold, he liked the feel of rain though, so he could feel every drop hit him. He sat up, rubbed his throat and thought in surprise well it doesn’t hurt anymore.
He looked around, there was nothing and nobody around, and his only companion was the constant sound of the cold winter rain around him. He didn’t take notice of that fact that his clothes weren’t getting wet by the rain (he always hated damp anything; everything had to be dry as a bone). He sat there for another few minutes, taking in the feeling of the rain hitting his face.
“Hey, didn’t even notice you get up.” He heard the voice to the side of him; he snapped his head to the direction of the sound.
Jamie stared blankly at the kid, he looked roughly to be a few years older than him, he had a thick disorderly mop of vivid auburn colored hair atop his sharp-featured youthful face, his thin chin accented by small stubble of a goatee, his inquisitive bright green eyes showed a natural intelligence and a sort of guile about him.
“Hey, Jamie, you there hello?!” he waved at my brother as to break his stare. My brother snapped out of it, everything seemed completely normal until now, he didn’t question any of it, until now, he figured it must be a dream.
“um………hi” Jamie responded, managing a slight wave of his hand. “um, if I can ask, who are you, and why do you know my name?”
“o sorry about that one bud, my name is Tobias, I’ve been watching you” My brother was puzzled by the answer. “what do you mean watching me, I’ve never seen you before.”
Tobias smiled, “I’ve been watching you, you and me are connected, were similar you know, well were both dead for one thing.”
Jamie heard what he said, but it didn’t seem to affect him, he took it in like someone that was just told bad news after they already assumed, hearing the words didn’t matter.
“wait what?” Jamie inquired, “What do you mean were dead?” “where are we?” The questions flew out of his mouth as soon as they entered his head.
Tobias laughed, “hey don’t ask me, how am I supposed to know?, do I look like god?” he said jokingly. Jamie laughed at the difficulty of his own questions, Tobias lightened the mood. Jamie snapped back to his serious self though, “so again, were are we?”
“well were, here, the world, all there is right?”
“but I thought we were dead?” Jamie asked, getting confused slightly, not fazed by mentioning his own state.
“we are, what do you want me to call it, heaven, paradise, the afterlife, nirvana?, I don’t know what to call it, we haven’t really went anywhere if that’s what your asking, right know, I think were in New Hampshire if that helps.
“ok so I am dead, and I’m in New Hampshire, that’s what happens when you die, you go to New Hampshire?” Jamie said, laughing at how ridiculous the idea seemed to him.
“well” Tobias said, standing up, “were do you want to go”.
“I don’t know, going home would be a good start, I don’t know how to get there though.”
“um bad idea” Tobias said, his tone and mood instantly turning serious and sober.
“why, I want to see my dad, he’s probably worried about me if im not home yet.”
“kid” Tobias said, shaking his head, “don’t you get it your dead, they won’t know your there, and if they do notice, its not good, believe me, I haven’t been here long, but I cant tell you that much.”
“ so I can go home, that’s what I want, I want to go home.”
Tobias seemed frustrated, but he went over to Jamie and sat with him in the grass.
“believe me man, I want to go home too, you can go there, but you won’t really be home, sure it will have all the stuff, but we don’t really have homes now, we wander,”
Jamie took in what he was being told, he still didn’t understand, but they way Tobias put it, comforted him in an odd way, explained the situation to him.
“So what do we do?” Jamie asked
Jamie gave a warm smile in return, putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulder
“we’re dead, its heaven, what do you want to do?”

[Oblivion]

i like it, the excerp from chapter one was good, i like stories that start that way

[Imrahil1234]

if anyone wants me to post more i can, more excerpts or i can start trying to post bigger sections of it. Its just hard to get the files from the computer it is saved on to the one connected to the internet.

[Ameerah8]

lol, it's not an option, you will post more of this story. period. I like it and agree with oblivion, the excerpt from chapter one was awesome. you should (and hopefully wil) post bigger sections of it.