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Old 02-17-2006, 03:25 PM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 21
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Question Opinions? Critiques? Anything?

This is a poem I had written a short while ago... I've called it "Cacaw", for obvious reasons, which you will probably realize upon further reading...umm. I was just looking for some critiques, or opinions, and such, and I was wondering if the ending was too sudden? Should I make the poem longer? Or what?? I'm kinda stuck...help? Pretty please?

"Cacaw! Cacaw!"
This old bird croons
Awaiting answer
From her fellow friends

Not a single answer
No, not tonight, you bird.

Once more, too soon
Perhaps this best end

No more nonsense
You silly, silly bird.

"Cacaw! Cacaw!"
This silly old loon
Carries on
In her obnoxious trend

Stop it! Stop it! They're not coming!

Not a single answer, you silly bird...
Stella Zara
I stared death in the eye, said the note from yesterday
And as I sat and wondered,
The boy with the green eyes winked at me
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