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Old 01-07-2006, 03:53 PM   #1
theanniversary
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Default Clocks

Spinning the threads of existence,
My hands weave an afghan
Of experience, periods, and centuries.

Enslaved by a man,
Who created a circular cell
To incarcerate humanity with the fear of the finite.

My rain has washed away,
Every child’s
Chalked pavement masterpiece.

My flames have reached,
As high as the crayon scribbles
You used to mark your growth.

I replaced all the damage I’ve done
To your first house.
In giving you a 3rd story apartment in the city.


Where you will lock all the doors,
Seal all the cracks
So naiveté can’t seep in.

Longing for when you weren’t
Trapped. In the radius of
My circular cell

That has imprisoned you, and everyone you know.
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Old 01-07-2006, 05:33 PM   #2
Chicken Warrior
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Posts: 40
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Good poem Lots of powerful words and an intruiging concept.

The phrasing is a little akward in parts, though.
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Old 01-07-2006, 05:38 PM   #3
theanniversary
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Thanks, awkward phrasing is my weakness.
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Old 01-08-2006, 03:51 PM   #4
daz3026
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Good Job on the poem.. it has good meter. but like ch'ken warrior said.. there are some awkard phrases! but other than that good job
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