TeenLit Community Forums  

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   TeenLit Community Forums > Writing > Long Term Writing
User Name
Password
Register FAQ Guidelines Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 10-21-2005, 07:04 PM   #1
Sempron101
TeenLit Newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 21
Default I really need feedback!

The Burning House

The house sat up high on a hill.
The cat peered out from a window sill.
Playing with string in a ball.
Staring at the vastness of it all.
Everything was clean and white.
The garden filled with colors bright.
But no sooner had it all begun,
Then out came night to deeply bury the softly setting sun.
Then came the storm, and out of the sky
Came a sharp and terrible, deafening cry.
All was pitch black, nothing could you see.
The last of the sun sank away, finally free.
The cat hid scared away,
For it was no longer day.
Then lightening split.
And the world, it relit.
The crackling was all around.
With spews of light, the house it began to surround.
Then the deadly strike came
And the house went up in one giant flame.
A loud crumbling sound
Accompanied the house as it burnt to the ground.
With that house went all my dreams.
Smothered out by all the screams.
With a whisper I said goodbye,
As the remaining ashes began to fly.
The waking of the next day’s dawn
Found my home completely gone.
And in the sunlight when all was new
I stood amongst the morning dew.
Staring down where my world used to be.
Staring down at all that was left of me.
But then from the soot the sky drew
A flower beautiful and true.
The only one left, come to cheer.
And dare the sun to come near.
To clear the air of all the sorrows.
And protect the wonders of the ‘morrows.
Because even from the greatest hurt
They’ll always be a flower arising from the dirt.
For though it may seem all there is, is strife.
There is always a next and new chapter to life.
Sempron101 is offline   Reply With Quote
 


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:36 PM.


Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

EMS Chat
EMS News