A snippit

girlonfire · 07-26-2006, 03:13 PM

i dunno what the hell this is, kind of on the moment thing but i quite like it in a queer way...anyway...

Don't rush a rose,
Beauty takes time,
Thorns included,
Would it be quite the same with out?
I doubt it,

~swissmochafudge~ · 07-27-2006, 08:25 AM

I like the last two lines to an extreme, they are so close to rhyming/but not rhyming thats its captivating. Totally agree with you, too, on the message of it!

girlonfire · 08-03-2006, 06:34 AM

thanks...it was a quicky, i was suprised it turned out so good

lohark · 08-07-2006, 04:27 PM

I don't think you need some of those commas but otherwise it was pretty good

07-26-2006, 03:13 PM	#1
girlonfire Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 177	A snippit i dunno what the hell this is, kind of on the moment thing but i quite like it in a queer way...anyway... Don't rush a rose, Beauty takes time, Thorns included, Would it be quite the same with out? I doubt it, __________________ "I wrote how the first science was made by magic..." -Lydia.M

08-03-2006, 06:34 AM	#3
girlonfire Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 177	hey thanks...it was a quicky, i was suprised it turned out so good __________________ "I wrote how the first science was made by magic..." -Lydia.M

08-07-2006, 04:27 PM	#4
lohark TeenLit Regular Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 73	I don't think you need some of those commas but otherwise it was pretty good __________________ The wind is knocking at my door...

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07-27-2006, 08:25 AM	#2
~swissmochafudge~ Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 179	I like the last two lines to an extreme, they are so close to rhyming/but not rhyming thats its captivating. Totally agree with you, too, on the message of it!