air on air.

~swissmochafudge~ · 05-08-2006, 01:40 PM

I should be asleep.
I’m not (nocturnal).
But this house is dark
And I’m awake by the wind…
By its whisper of touch and the caress of

air
on
air

Lay back and stop breathing
I say. (Its too loud.)
Instead I listen
And cry.
Because I’m too shy to just peel off my clothes
And wear the wind…

I’m alone. No one would see me?

(sigh)

Maybe I’m just dreaming and
Really asleep.

But reality isn’t this clear.

I roll over in bed, my sheets tangling in my legs and I shut the window.

Critiques, please and thank you.

girlonfire · Yesterday, 11:09 AM

yyyeaaah, i like this one. Not sure why, i like the fact i never know what your on about....you might find that annoying but i dont c it as a bad thing

~swissmochafudge~ · Today, 09:39 AM

Haha yeah that seems to be an ongoing theme that no one understand what I'm talking about! Haha! No I don't see it as a bad thing either.

The poems about me when I'm lying in my bed and I can't get to sleep and its about midnight on a hot summer night and my window is open and this cool breeze comes by and cools me a little...and yeah...I can't even explain it!

05-08-2006, 01:40 PM	#1
~swissmochafudge~ Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 156	air on air. I should be asleep. I’m not (nocturnal). But this house is dark And I’m awake by the wind… By its whisper of touch and the caress of air on air Lay back and stop breathing I say. (Its too loud.) Instead I listen And cry. Because I’m too shy to just peel off my clothes And wear the wind… I’m alone. No one would see me? (sigh) Maybe I’m just dreaming and Really asleep. But reality isn’t this clear. I roll over in bed, my sheets tangling in my legs and I shut the window. Critiques, please and thank you.

Yesterday, 11:09 AM	#2
girlonfire TeenLit Regular Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 72	yyyeaaah, i like this one. Not sure why, i like the fact i never know what your on about....you might find that annoying but i dont c it as a bad thing __________________ I'm like an atom, So small you can not see me, Insignificant? Try and split me, And i'm not so little anymore...

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Today, 09:39 AM	#3
~swissmochafudge~ Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 156	Haha yeah that seems to be an ongoing theme that no one understand what I'm talking about! Haha! No I don't see it as a bad thing either. The poems about me when I'm lying in my bed and I can't get to sleep and its about midnight on a hot summer night and my window is open and this cool breeze comes by and cools me a little...and yeah...I can't even explain it!