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Old 05-07-2006, 08:00 PM   #1
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yeah, the part where they're at the party, painting, and then you talk about digging...in this part

"There's much digging to be done
before the salt- of-my-earth
wells up,"

like, i don't get how that fits in the poem. please enlighten me.
Birds of a feather flock together,
And so will pigs and swine;
Rats and mice can have their choice
And so will I have mine.
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Old 05-07-2006, 08:23 PM   #2
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Maybe editing that stanza to this:
Table polished in the frenzy,
I map my worlds across it
in the morning
with paper-pile landmarks,
crumpled and tea-stained.
There's much digging to be done
before the salt-of-my-earth
wells up,
does that make it more clear?
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Old 05-08-2006, 09:47 AM   #3
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Very nice, Isis.

battering 'round my head, reminders
that she hasn't painted
in sixteen damn years.

I love the sixteen damn years part. Ahh.

Your imagery I didn't find confusing at all. I liked it a lot. You used it nicely too. It wasn't cliche, it made sense, and tied into the poem nicely.

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