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Old 05-02-2006, 09:34 PM   #1
Isis
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Default getting things done around here

The continents were made by dripping brine
and slapping down dough, plowed
by hands and baked
under an irregular sun --

something rare in my kitchen,
where we make tea and paper and
messes, sometimes all three.
Portfolio night is a party:
stay up, surrounded
by old shirt-canvas art.
Maybe they don't notice
in winning bread, but around book-stack
battlement I'm entrenched,
oil apples and sketched anatomy
battering 'round my head, reminders
that she hasn't painted
in sixteen damn years.

Table polished in the frenzy,
I map my worlds across it
in the morning.
There's much digging to be done
before the salt- of-my-earth
wells up,

but I grasp in anyway, afraid
to stop and never return.
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Old 05-03-2006, 08:52 AM   #2
girlonfire
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Default ?

the imagary is confusing me, but i like it because of that so i suppose its cool
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Old 05-05-2006, 01:31 PM   #3
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I like it just because. The imagary is kind of confusing. like you switch around the settings, first you talking about bread (or so i think), then a party and so on. But like she said, i suppose thats why i like it. It's a good poem. the last stanza was my fave.
"but I grasp in anyway, afraid
to stop and never return."

lol, Isis, I dare you to write something bad.
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Last edited by Ameerah8 : 05-05-2006 at 01:32 PM.
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Old 05-05-2006, 05:16 PM   #4
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heh, I write plenty of crap, I just end up scrapping most of it...

Still, since I wrote this, I'm not quite sure how its confusing. It seems to me like the whole poem is in the kitchen, and it makes sense that way...but...uh...I can't tell ^^;; were there particular lines/phrases that really threw you off? was it just the "party"?

[I'm glad you liked the ending though!]
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Old 05-07-2006, 08:00 PM   #5
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yeah, the part where they're at the party, painting, and then you talk about digging...in this part

"There's much digging to be done
before the salt- of-my-earth
wells up,"

like, i don't get how that fits in the poem. please enlighten me.
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Old 05-07-2006, 08:23 PM   #6
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Maybe editing that stanza to this:
Quote:
Table polished in the frenzy,
I map my worlds across it
in the morning
with paper-pile landmarks,
crumpled and tea-stained.
There's much digging to be done
before the salt-of-my-earth
wells up,
does that make it more clear?
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