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05-02-2006, 09:34 PM | #1 |
Senior Member
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getting things done around here
The continents were made by dripping brine
and slapping down dough, plowed by hands and baked under an irregular sun -- something rare in my kitchen, where we make tea and paper and messes, sometimes all three. Portfolio night is a party: stay up, surrounded by old shirt-canvas art. Maybe they don't notice in winning bread, but around book-stack battlement I'm entrenched, oil apples and sketched anatomy battering 'round my head, reminders that she hasn't painted in sixteen damn years. Table polished in the frenzy, I map my worlds across it in the morning. There's much digging to be done before the salt- of-my-earth wells up, but I grasp in anyway, afraid to stop and never return.
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05-03-2006, 08:52 AM | #2 |
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 72
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?
the imagary is confusing me, but i like it because of that so i suppose its cool
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I'm like an atom, So small you can not see me, Insignificant? Try and split me, And i'm not so little anymore... |
05-05-2006, 01:31 PM | #3 |
Senior Member
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I like it just because. The imagary is kind of confusing. like you switch around the settings, first you talking about bread (or so i think), then a party and so on. But like she said, i suppose thats why i like it. It's a good poem. the last stanza was my fave.
"but I grasp in anyway, afraid to stop and never return." lol, Isis, I dare you to write something bad.
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Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine. Last edited by Ameerah8 : 05-05-2006 at 01:32 PM. |
05-05-2006, 05:16 PM | #4 |
Senior Member
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heh, I write plenty of crap, I just end up scrapping most of it...
Still, since I wrote this, I'm not quite sure how its confusing. It seems to me like the whole poem is in the kitchen, and it makes sense that way...but...uh...I can't tell ^^;; were there particular lines/phrases that really threw you off? was it just the "party"? [I'm glad you liked the ending though!]
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05-07-2006, 08:00 PM | #5 |
Senior Member
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yeah, the part where they're at the party, painting, and then you talk about digging...in this part
"There's much digging to be done before the salt- of-my-earth wells up," like, i don't get how that fits in the poem. please enlighten me.
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Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine. |
05-07-2006, 08:23 PM | #6 | |
Senior Member
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Maybe editing that stanza to this:
Quote:
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