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Old 01-09-2006, 08:44 PM   #1
daz3026
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Post what to change??!

Hey everyone. I just wrote a new poem.. but idont know if you would call it a poem but i was wondering if you could help me think of a title and some things i could change.
When you read it you might have to read it several times because its a confusing poem.!! good luck lol

tittle???

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesturday
Yesturday is the future of the past of tommorow
Tommorow is tomorrow
Tomorow holds the future

Time to start over.



so its very short..so may not be a poem!! wut is it then??? and idead or advice???
bye!
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Old 01-11-2006, 06:59 AM   #2
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why not have tomorrow as the title
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Old 01-11-2006, 06:31 PM   #3
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But that's boring! And blasphemous! Titles are important, and can throw a work in a different light than without, or can make a statement. Besides, you should name your own children.
That said, this is more like a saying - a pretty good one, but still a saying. I think that you should try talking about tomarrow more figuratively if you want to do so in more poetry.
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Old 01-12-2006, 05:43 PM   #4
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this may sound stupid, but wat do you mean by "name your own children"
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Old 01-12-2006, 06:28 PM   #5
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It does sound stupid.

Name your own children = title your own works.
You create it, you name it.
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Old 02-17-2006, 02:19 PM   #6
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As far as what it is?? Ummmm....it can still be considered a poem...just a shorter one...
and a title??
um...how about..."Tomorrow: Start Over"?
just a thought
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Old 03-10-2006, 07:48 AM   #7
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Cool

personally i like the poem.... it is short but because it is so different and some what difficult it's better that this is short... it makes tomorrow seem more important.

I also beleive the title is important... but they're right... you need to name it. It's your peice of art and it's yours to create a title that suits.

tomorrow is a little too boring... plus its common to title poems after a word in the poem...
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Old 03-24-2006, 07:41 PM   #8
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i like this poem it's short and concise yet it makes your brain go "Whoa! Wait up... huh?" The part about yesterday makes my head hurt because it makes sense but then i can't quite figure out why it makes sense.
Great job!
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Old 03-27-2006, 06:09 PM   #9
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I like your poem because it is short but it makes you think. After reading over it a couple of times I really liked it. It makes sense and I do think that it is a poem.
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Old 03-27-2006, 06:10 PM   #10
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I think a good title could be anything you think belongs to your poem.. but you should think of it. Good writing!
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