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|02-20-2006, 07:09 PM
By Levi LaFonte
Society in which we partake
Is nothing more than a fake
on the surface its all nice
but underneath there’s no rice
to feed the kids who others buy
we all know it don’t deny
that there is a hidden haunt
and all can we think of is what we want
sure I like a million dollars
but id prefer to see millions holler
better yet to see them act
to help change the there’s a fact
that there’s meat
for the boy with no feet
blown of by a bomb
the same one that killed his mom
just because the his family went against the say
of one of the many corrupt governments today
who steal their peoples food away
and use it to buy guns for another day
to keep the people under oppression
a constant supply of depression
and all we can think of is what we want?
Maybe some shoes from a sweat shop
That a six year old child made
Just to be under paid
When the people become defiant
The governments soldiers will keep them quite
When your done reading this poem
You’ll decide against its tone
Then forget about the hidden haunt
And go back to thinking about what you want
|02-27-2006, 11:41 AM
i think it's a work in progress. i really liked some lines. but i think whe u typed it you left out some words because some of it doesn't make sense. but if u work on it some more it has the potentail to be much better.
|02-27-2006, 05:37 PM
on the 12th line....did you mean "that theres a fact"? But other than that I liked it. But what parts didn't make sense, Ryanne?
Birds of a feather flock together,
And so will pigs and swine;
Rats and mice can have their choice
And so will I have mine.
|02-27-2006, 07:07 PM
like this little part "all can we think" the words are mixed up && i think "sure i like a million dollars" should be "i'd" && ummm "to help change the there's a fact" is missing a word or something...&& i think maybe they meant to put "that there's no meat" b/c if there was then we wouldn't wanna change it... it just threw me off a little. i mean i guess they are just typing errors. i liked the poem that just confused me a little.
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