Brisk read.

Ameerah8 · 10-13-2005, 07:14 AM

Thanks for the crit now i know what to work on and what not to. the only other person who's edited it and gave their thought was my mom and that doesn't count cause she's a parent.

Oblivion · 11-07-2005, 01:40 AM

hmmmmmmmmmmm its pretty good

Ameerah8 · 11-08-2005, 08:44 PM

good as in you would want to read the next chapter or good as in "i'm just being nice, your story really sucks"

Oblivion · 11-08-2005, 10:42 PM

I like the begginning but i dont realy like the last parts, but thats cuz i need more to go off of, dont worry it doesnt suck

Ameerah8 · 11-12-2005, 06:22 PM

more to go on, such as?

Oblivion · 11-30-2005, 09:41 PM

Sorry i couldnt reply earlier, i had family problems. Anyway, post some more, because right now i'm very confused on why she wouldnt be petrified about a tree talking with her, tell more about why she is more comfortable with it. Or were you going to post that later?

Ameerah8 · 12-01-2005, 12:26 AM

er...the story is kind of on hold right now....I'm not sure where I want the story to go..so the rest the story is just like five sentences..But I can answer your question. Somehow in the story I was going to let the reader know that Andrea's father was a tree spirt so she has talked to tree's before it's she just can't remember it. SO the reason she's not scared out of her mind that some tree is talking to her is she's done it before....Does that make sense?

10-13-2005, 07:14 AM	#1
Ameerah8 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 214	Thanks for the crit now i know what to work on and what not to. the only other person who's edited it and gave their thought was my mom and that doesn't count cause she's a parent. __________________ Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine.

11-07-2005, 01:40 AM	#2
Oblivion Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 184	hmmmmmmmmmmm its pretty good __________________ Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic. What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

11-08-2005, 08:44 PM	#3
Ameerah8 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 214	good as in you would want to read the next chapter or good as in "i'm just being nice, your story really sucks" __________________ Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine.

11-08-2005, 10:42 PM	#4
Oblivion Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 184	I like the begginning but i dont realy like the last parts, but thats cuz i need more to go off of, dont worry it doesnt suck __________________ Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic. What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

11-12-2005, 06:22 PM	#5
Ameerah8 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 214	more to go on, such as? __________________ Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine.

11-30-2005, 09:41 PM	#6
Oblivion Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 184	Sorry i couldnt reply earlier, i had family problems. Anyway, post some more, because right now i'm very confused on why she wouldnt be petrified about a tree talking with her, tell more about why she is more comfortable with it. Or were you going to post that later? __________________ Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic. What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

12-01-2005, 12:26 AM	#7
Ameerah8 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 214	er...the story is kind of on hold right now....I'm not sure where I want the story to go..so the rest the story is just like five sentences..But I can answer your question. Somehow in the story I was going to let the reader know that Andrea's father was a tree spirt so she has talked to tree's before it's she just can't remember it. SO the reason she's not scared out of her mind that some tree is talking to her is she's done it before....Does that make sense? __________________ Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine.

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