the way i feel

crazy1 · 02-10-2006, 12:55 AM

the way i feel

I hate myself I want to die
The problem is I don’t know why
Something is missing in my life
But until I find it where’s the knife
Too open my flesh too free my soul
Or maybe I’ll just smoke another bol

Unwilling · 02-10-2006, 06:16 PM

dude, that's not the way to kill yourself. Forced Rhyming without any of my friends

; . , -- . As a poet, they become your friend. =)

Oblivion · 02-11-2006, 03:50 AM

i thought the poem was good, gloomy, but good, the rhyming didnt seem forced to me

Vennila X Vana · 02-18-2006, 01:52 PM

Spelling is cool! S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G! Yaaaay Spelling!

Also, as a poet you're supposed to invoke emotion take people to places they haven't been before, or show them that you can relate. I don't think anyone feels the way that poem says because it basically makes a joke out of that helpless restless feeling of "Life Over. Meaningless Existence" and we've all been there so to write a poem on that topic, you must feel it through your core.

This is a pretty sorry excuse for that. Try again next time

Skyfire · 03-10-2006, 12:23 PM

Yes at one time or another we have all felt this way, but I can really realate
to it. I think your poems,although short, are meaningful

"There is always light even in the darkest of nights"

- Skyfire

02-10-2006, 12:55 AM	#1
crazy1 TeenLit Newbie Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 28	the way i feel the way i feel I hate myself I want to die The problem is I don’t know why Something is missing in my life But until I find it where’s the knife Too open my flesh too free my soul Or maybe I’ll just smoke another bol

02-11-2006, 03:50 AM	#3
Oblivion Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 184	i thought the poem was good, gloomy, but good, the rhyming didnt seem forced to me __________________ Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic. What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

02-18-2006, 01:52 PM	#4
Vennila X Vana Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 285	Spelling is cool! S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G! Yaaaay Spelling! Also, as a poet you're supposed to invoke emotion take people to places they haven't been before, or show them that you can relate. I don't think anyone feels the way that poem says because it basically makes a joke out of that helpless restless feeling of "Life Over. Meaningless Existence" and we've all been there so to write a poem on that topic, you must feel it through your core. This is a pretty sorry excuse for that. Try again next time __________________ Sugar, Your Bunny [It's the cure to getting older]

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02-10-2006, 06:16 PM	#2
Unwilling TeenLit Regular Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 67	dude, that's not the way to kill yourself. Forced Rhyming without any of my friends ; . , -- . As a poet, they become your friend. =)

03-10-2006, 12:23 PM	#5
Skyfire TeenLit Newbie Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 20	Yes at one time or another we have all felt this way, but I can really realate to it. I think your poems,although short, are meaningful "There is always light even in the darkest of nights" - Skyfire