TeenLit Community Forums  

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   TeenLit Community Forums > Writing > Poetry For Review
User Name
Register FAQ Guidelines Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 05-24-2006, 07:24 AM   #1
TeenLit Newbie
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 6
Default what do you think?

please tell me what you think.

The lipstick, jewelry, cage her –
False yet desperate –
Dancing across the empty room
A stage of distortion.
The candles become dimmer…
He sits in the corner,
in that chair he loved so much
Coat in hand, shaking his head.
Her dress is torn, matted hair sticks to her bloody face
an incomplete smile is born out of nervousness
but dies away quickly…
She stands across from him
in desperation of reassurance
an orchestra is making beautiful music downstairs
but this scene is not beautiful anymore
her heart is screaming
as he stands and moves towards the door
now her mouth is screaming,
she begs for him to turn around
her terror stricken eyes… tears –
streaming down her face, a mangled wreck –
lined with bleakness and despair
most of the candles have burnt out
they both come to the door, as he reaches out for the handle
he looks down at her face… in the very last of the light,
her soul is exposed for him to see
his expression suddenly turns form anger –
to understanding…
She falls into his arms in exhaustion
he slumps down onto the cold hard ground and holds her.
The darkness now binds them both
But what they have within each other –
Will never come undone…
RaMiE is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:06 PM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

EMS Chat
EMS News