Unwilling.

Isis · 01-24-2006, 08:41 PM

Hey man, I stole your name.
Be offended by my pronoun usage.
Everyone else: does this work, or is it too literal/simplistic?

I know myself
by the name you call me,
the enveloping press
of your voice
into my hands.

Steady in their sleepy,
speckled path, I stand
easily on calloused feet
and lightly in
knowing, shoulders back
against your breeze.
Should it cease, I'll be left
with pictures of my place,
and no sense
of who I am within it.

~swissmochafudge~ · 01-26-2006, 04:48 PM

Definatly not to literal or simplistic. If it was simple, it was beautiful. Good job!

01-24-2006, 08:41 PM	#1
Isis Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 276	Unwilling. Hey man, I stole your name. Be offended by my pronoun usage. Everyone else: does this work, or is it too literal/simplistic? I know myself by the name you call me, the enveloping press of your voice into my hands. Steady in their sleepy, speckled path, I stand easily on calloused feet and lightly in knowing, shoulders back against your breeze. Should it cease, I'll be left with pictures of my place, and no sense of who I am within it. __________________ http://www.intunemonthly.com/forums Please click above and help me make a living! Come chat about music at InTune. You want to. You know you do. Cheers!

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01-26-2006, 04:48 PM	#2
~swissmochafudge~ Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 156	Definatly not to literal or simplistic. If it was simple, it was beautiful. Good job!