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|12-10-2005, 12:36 PM||#1|
Knights (Temporary Title)
This is all I can come up with for now. I've been working on this for approximately 4 or 5 months and all I have is this. How annoying. Oh, well. Here goes.
“Oh, we are the knights of The Castle,” Several voices sang off-key. “We drink our booze and sing… Oh, we are the knights of The Castle. We drink our booze and sing!” As the song ended, the voices’ owners laughed heartily and drank from their bottles of booze.
“Whoo-boy, this place is perfect.” Adrian Grey, the first member of The Knights, whooped in his great, loud voice.
Crucifix, the newest and youngest member said, “Yeah, this place is awesome. All we have to do is kill the occasional Demon King or Drone and we get a place to sleep and free booze.”
The rest of the Knights included Dice a black-eyed and white-skinned elf, Ace of Spades, who was the apprentice to the Grim Reaper and looked like Dallas Winston from the Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, and Rael a red dragon in human form.
Julian Grey, Adrian’s brother and a member of the Castle’s central information center, appeared in the doorway.
“I thought I’d find you here.” Said Julian, adjusting his glasses.
The room the knights were in was an old one with the west wall and ceiling knocked down for proper viewing of the sunset. The cobblestone floor was covered with a thick carpet of lush grass and in the center of the room sat an old, faded green, broken down low-rider style car. The knights were sitting atop the car, waiting for the sunset.
Adrian, lounging on the hood of the car, replied, “What’cha want li’l bro’?” He grinned at Julian’s immediate scowl. He hated being reminded that he was the younger brother because he thought his intellect was more important than Adrian’s looks and strength.
Although Adrian was the handsomer of the two, Julian had a certain bookish charm with his short-cropped, blonde hair and empathetic green eyes.
Adrian was obviously the bad-boy type. He had long, sleek, black hair and a muscular build, but the same green eyes as his brother, if not a bit less empathetic. He usually wore tight, sleeveless shirts and tight jeans. Adrian loved to show off his muscles.
“Well, I wanted to tell you-“ Julian began, but was cut off by Crucifix.
“Shut up. The sunset’s coming!” He exclaimed, watching the sky eagerly. The sunset never failed to amaze the Knights.
Suddenly the sky burst into bright purples and pinks. The colors swirled around and reformed into many multi-colored orbs. The orbs began plummeting earthward and The Knights and Julian took cover behind the car. A few orbs landed near the car, but most of them landed farther off.
Slowly, the Knights and Julian emerged from behind the car, stalking towards the large orbs.
“Let’s wait for the ‘Luto Morphs.” Said Adrian, referring to the Polluto Morphs that always emerged from these pink and purple orbs. Slower than the Knights had emerged from behind the car, a hatch in the top of the orbs opened and out crawled a slime-covered creature. It had six legs, three on each side, and mottled purple skin. On its head were three, large, egg-shaped eyes. Two in a row and one on top and in the middle of the two.
“Yeah!” Exclaimed Adrian, unsheathing his pride and joy, his sword. The hilt was pure black ebony. Embedded in the center was an emerald, shining as if lit by a fire inside. The blade was made solely of Dragon’s Fang, so it was nearly in destructible.
He raised the sword above his head and brought it down with a slicing sound. Blood gushed from the severed neck of the Morph.
Julian dealt with another using a well-placed spell. Crucifix and Rael tackled the last one as Ace of Spades complained that they hadn’t left him a Morph to kill.
“Well, as I was saying, we have a new knight.” Julian stated.
The knights looked flabbergasted.
“B-but,” Adrian stuttered. “We’ve been doing good. The boss wouldn’t send another Knight unless we were doing bad.”
“Well, Adrian. ‘We’ve been doing well.’” Julian corrected his older brother.
“That doesn’t matter little brother, what matters is that we have a new Knight. Why?" Snarled Adrian, putting a special little inflection on little brother.
"Well, I'm not sure," Julian said, not heeding Adrian's snarl at all. "but The Boss has been hinting at sending you to retrieve the Drahknoh Orbs and I guess he thought you needed some help."
"Is the new Knight Khepri?" Asked Ace of Spades.
"No. Sorry." Replied Julian.
"Sorry? Why?" Asked Ace.
"Because... I know you like Khepri." Julian said, hoping Ace wouldn't get out his scythe and hack him to bits.
Ace growled and blushed, but did nothing more.
"Anyway, it's not Khepri, but his latest lover." Julian added.
"Good, so it'll definitely be a guy. Not that I had any doubts. The Boss would never send us a girl Knight." Dice said.
"Actually it would appear that Khepri has gone straight." Julian chuckled.
"What? Khepri can't've gone straight 'cause he's, well, Khepri." Said a confused Rael, who knew Khepri best.
"Oh, really? Well, I say otherwise." An alien voice sounded from the doorway.
All the Knights jerked their heads towards the door and Julian muttered something that sounded like 'This won't go well.'
Leaning against the doorframe was a woman with a curious look in her eyes. Not exactly manic, not exactly sane. When she smiled (As she did now) the look was only accentuated.
She had lean, hard muscles on her legs and what showed of her stomach.
She was wearing a pair of short, jean, cut-offs and a skintight turtle-neck with no sleeves. A pair of black, wolf ears jutted from her skull and a black wolf tail from her tailbone. On her back was a black backpack.
Her hair as well was black, but it was glossy and silky and cut in an odd style, shoulder length in back turning gradually into breast length in the front. And her eyes. Oh, her eyes were beautiful. Bright green, not forest nor yellowish, but neon green.
Leaning against the wall near her was a hardshell guitar case.
"Who are you?" Adrian growled.
"I'm Adell'e." The woman replied. “And I’m your new Knight.”
“What!?!? That can’t be. Why would The Boss send us a girl to help retrieve the Drahknoh Orbs?” Adrian raged.
“Oh, you don’t need my help? Then I’ll just go back to L33T and offer her my invaluable services.” Adell’e replied calmly, bending to pick up her guitar case.
“Ack! No, no. Of course we need your help.” Julian leapt forward and put a hand over Adrian’s mouth. He began to curse in muffled shouts which caused Julian to put his other hand over the one already over Adrian’s mouth.
She straightened and stood with her arms crossed and one eyebrow gracefully arched.
“Oh really? Well, nobody else seems to agree with you.” She replied, scanning the group which consisted of a bunch of glaring guys and Julian.
“Well, that doesn’t matter. The Boss sent you and The Knights have to work with you whether they like it or not.” Julian said, looking at Adrian defiantly.
“We do not!” Adrian shouted, finally breaking free of Julian’s grip.
“Oh, really?” A booming voice from behind Adell’e asked.
“Hi, B-boss.” Julian stuttered uncomfortably, looking up at The Boss.
The Boss was a burly man, almost completely comprised of muscle. He had mousy, brownish hair and a same-colored beard which contrasted greatly with his commandeering attitude.
Adrian growled, but uttered a reluctant “Fine.” while glaring at the ground. The other Knights scowled and crossed their arms while looking away.
“Thank you, Jay-san.” Adell’e said, turning to look up at Jay. Even Julian looked quizzical at this strange pet name. To them the only name Jay had ever been called was The Boss.
|12-10-2005, 06:04 PM||#2|
Join Date: Aug 2005
This story is exciting, but I don't understand the setting: modern times? Dark ages? Both? Did I miss the completely miss the point? I really don't read tons of fantasy, so it might appear more clear to someone who knows more about the genre.
Keep working on it!
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Last edited by JEM : 12-10-2005 at 06:59 PM.
|12-12-2005, 05:56 PM||#4|
dude i love inuyasha anyway back on topic, i dont get the time period either, unless theyre like time hoppers or something, are they like demons?
Other wise its great, i like the girl Adell'e
Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic.
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail.
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
|12-12-2005, 06:17 PM||#5|
Yeah, Inu-Yasha rocks. I'm sorry I can't really explain the setting to you. Oh, have you read the book elsewhere? It's kinda like that. And, yeah, Adell'e's a demon and so is Ace.
|12-12-2005, 07:16 PM||#6|
I like the names. You must have had fun with the names - I'm having fun filling in the description of these people around what they're called. However, you do need to give more about these characters if you want to tell us what they look like right off. This here is a problem:
Well, there's the catty way of saying that you should be careful with obvious fantasy cliches and devices like this. Also, be careful of overdescription of eyes...
Keep in mind,however, that you're going to want to give some characters idiosyncracies that will determine who they are during conversation - I like the brothers so far, but the other characters [especially when you have quite a few of them] also need something more defining. Have fun with describing their personalities and personal tics.
I'm interested in learning more about this crazy, upseedown world you've got here.
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