Traveling along the river (im new by the way;)

[guyaneese_girl]

A little background info: i went white water rafting in Massachustes (sp?) and i was so inspired, i wish i had my camera that day! haha so i though it was the coolest setting 4 a story....so here it is i just started so its kinda in the works but i got it all planned out (if u wanna hear the idea just ask)

Will woke up to the sound of the wind, blowing through the trees. He yawned and stretched, looking up at the sky. He could see it, though the emerald green leaves of the treed above him blocked out most of the brilliant blue atmosphere. He put out the fire that he had lit the night before and walked toward is backpack. There was a box of energy bars and a twelve pack of sprite. He took one of each and devoured the provisions at a rapid rate. After he ate, he went toward the river. The Redfield River was not a stranger to him. He had swam and played in this river with his sister Maggie, his mother, and his father. He felt a lump in his throat. He could hear his voice inside his head saying “Don’t think about him.” He shook his head, almost wishing that by doing that he would shake off the terrible memories that were held inside his head; they were like ravenous beasts, trying to escape, but the cage of regret and longing held them captive, and helpless.
He went down to the river and undressed himself. Their wasn’t a house for miles, but he still felt a little embarrassed. It was because his traveling partner mad him nervous. She was quiet timid, and observant. He hoped he wouldn’t have to find her at the riverbank, watching him. He swam a bit, trying to clean himself. He probably wasn’t as dirty as he felt, but it did him good to get in the water anyway. After five minutes of “bathing” he walked up to the riverbank. He was too wet to put all his clothes back on, so he just slipped on his boxers and pants. He sat by the rivers edge, listening to the birds. Eventually, his companion found him. She was shorter than him (about a good two inches) and had sandy brown hair. Her hazel eyes were downcast; she was obviously embarrassed to see Will without a **** on. She did sit beside him though and they were silent for a while. “Are you from around here?” asked Will? She looked up at him, straight into his eyes. He had the oddest sensation when she did, (he always found it difficult to look people in the eyes) she answered, “Yeah, well….I just moved here.”
“Funny,” said Will, “I think I would have seen you around.”
“I don’t leave the house much.”
“Wow, I don’t even know your name. I’m surprised it hasn’t come up in our conversations yet. Mine’s Will”
“I’m...Lara”
“Well…it’s nice to meet you.” Said Will, smiling. Lara laughed, “So…where are you headed?” Will’s face grew grim. “I don’t know yet. I was thinking maybe New York or something.”
“The City? That’s a long way away. Are you sure?”
“Well, as long as it away from here.”
“Why is it so important you get out of here?”
Will looked at Lara, and she instantly knew she had tried to uncover something will wanted to keep to himself.
“I’m sorry.” She said slowly, “it really isn’t any of my business.”
An awkward silence lasted for a moment. Then Will said, “It’s alright, I just…don’t want to talk about it know.”
“I understand…I think.”
“Let’s get moving shall we?”
“Were to?”
“Anywhere, far away I guess. Unless, you and I are going to go our separate ways.”
“Well I would feel safer traveling in a group, but if you want to go solo I understand.” Her face was full of fear, and Will didn’t want her to be left alone. She looked so fragile, and he didn’t want to feel the guilt later on in life. If there was a life for him after what he had done. “Yeah, alright. We’ll travel together.”
“We should hurry though, if we want to get far. And besides, we’re missing aren’t we? The will start looking for us soon.”
‘Maybe for you…no one alive cares where I am’, though Will. He said nothing, but nodded, and they walked side by side, away from what they knew.

[guyaneese_girl]

wow was it that bad that no1 dared to say somthing about it?

i though it was bad anyway

[Matt]

Great contribution, and welcome to the forum!

It's not that people don't like, but instead that the forum isn't all that active quite yet.

I hope you stick around and continue to post and share your writing!

[Isis]

^I was going to say what Matt said last night, but I got kicked off the computer. >_<

So. I think that this is a good beginning; and some of your description is good. I just think that length and character could improve, but that would be simple; they come hand in hand as you go. Just add in more description, movement between the dialouge, and this would be better than it is.

I'm looking forward to more good writing from you!

[guyaneese_girl]

[font=Georgia]thanks, i appreciated that :-)[/FONT]

[Imrahil1234]

Its pretty good, i hope you post more, im interested in seeing what they are doing and what happens.

There is white water rafting in massachusetts?!