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Old 07-26-2005, 03:48 PM   #1
LeAnn
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Thank you for your help. I have written about seventy pages of the story. Later on in the story it explains what she was thinking, how she reacted, what the man looked like and so forth. Would it make a better story if i put in what he looks like and how she feels and reacted now? I have alot more than just that also.

I didnt go into details because i dont know if they allow what i have written. I dont want to get into trouble for going into the details of rape.

No, i have never been "Comfortable" with rape, i wrote the story as a sort of message to young girls who get raped because it happens to the best of us. Its more about how to deal with rape than what goes on during rape. Thank you for your help, though.


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Old 07-27-2005, 10:39 AM   #2
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You should definately put all that there now. It makes the story believable, and people can get into it. Then she can tell the shortened and panicked story when she has to relay it someone else...if she does tell the story. I don't know what these boards will allow...you could PM Matt and ask, or just put a warning before the writing. I'm not sure.

No one's really comforable with stuff like that, but some people have a better flair for the bad side of people then others. But 70 pages...man, I'm impressed.
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Last edited by Isis : 07-27-2005 at 10:40 AM.
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Old 07-27-2005, 04:54 PM   #3
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I only have 70 pages right now, its not even closed to completely finnished and this is just a rough draft, i havent even gone back to fix stuff yet. But i think that it will make a pretty good stroy once im through.

Thanks for the tips! Really Appreciated!
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Old 08-06-2005, 05:40 PM   #4
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I think you need to break out of cliches. Say what really happened not what you 've already read. If you want people to remember this you have to give us something fresh and new. If that's the beginning of your novel, it's not pulling me in. You're not leaving me wanting more. She was raped, it's a really bad situation, but it happens to a lot of girls and it's a very delicate subject, do it justice.
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Old 08-17-2005, 05:59 PM   #5
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Good preview of the book to come. Is the book about Emily's recovery from this experiance?

I think that you not going into tons of detail was good. It makes the reader curious and it makes them want to read on.

I can't wait to see the rest of the book.
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Old 09-15-2005, 09:19 PM   #6
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I don't really think you need to get into more graphic detail either, just maybe thoughts she was having, and maybe what was going on before, like how she got into the woods at night in the first place.
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Old 09-19-2005, 08:14 PM   #7
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Where's Emily's voice throughout this horrible event? It sounds like some sort of sadistic sports commentor. You haven't added enough details and originality to make us truely care about the situation which, in turn makes the reader feel guilty for not sympathizing more about your character's situation. This is not to say make the situation worse, the reader is clear about the horror of the situation, but rather to make us care about Emily. Why should we care enough about her to keep reading when rape and murder is plastered all over our media? If this sounds harsh or crude, I apologize - my comments are meant to highlight the story not downplay the gravity and tradgedy of rape.
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