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#1 |
TeenLit Newbie
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the way i feel
I hate myself I want to die The problem is I don’t know why Something is missing in my life But until I find it where’s the knife Too open my flesh too free my soul Or maybe I’ll just smoke another bol |
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#2 |
TeenLit Regular
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 67
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dude, that's not the way to kill yourself. Forced Rhyming without any of my friends
; . , -- . As a poet, they become your friend. =) |
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#3 |
Senior Member
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i thought the poem was good, gloomy, but good, the rhyming didnt seem forced to me
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Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic. What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. |
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#4 |
Senior Member
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Spelling is cool! S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G! Yaaaay Spelling!
Also, as a poet you're supposed to invoke emotion take people to places they haven't been before, or show them that you can relate. I don't think anyone feels the way that poem says because it basically makes a joke out of that helpless restless feeling of "Life Over. Meaningless Existence" and we've all been there so to write a poem on that topic, you must feel it through your core. This is a pretty sorry excuse for that. Try again next time ![]()
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Sugar, Your Bunny [It's the cure to getting older] |
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#5 |
TeenLit Newbie
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 20
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Yes at one time or another we have all felt this way, but I can really realate
to it. I think your poems,although short, are meaningful "There is always light even in the darkest of nights" - Skyfire |
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