One root in the desert, another in the sea

Isis · 12-17-2005, 06:25 PM

At another board we had this contest where we had to write about what Christmas/the holidays meant to us. I turned up my nose and went "lame!" until I realized I had something decent to write about, and a good way to word it. Here's what I entered:

In this mass of snow
we are the central isle,
the Mediterranean.

We gather around the island
in the kitchen, a copper-pot sky
with a wrought iron oven, the sun.
A sacrificial lamb will be born
at midnight, but for now
we have one for our dinner.

Waiting for Nicholas to kick off his clogs
and join the rest of us (he's late every year
- must be a business evening)
something sounds from the attic.
A three peice band; for all the corners
of our ocean we have resonance,
we have a song of common kin.

~swissmochafudge~ · 12-19-2005, 08:46 AM

Nice. I DO like this. For the first paragraph (is that what you call it?) it sounded remarkably like a news report or the such (this could me just me...you never know) but it really picked up after that. Extremely so. I LOVED THIS:

We gather around the island
in the kitchen, a copper-pot sky
with a wrought iron oven, the sun.

Woot!

Imrahil1234 · 12-19-2005, 01:04 PM

like the imagry of the copper pot sky,

got to go, at school, will post more later.

daz3026 · 01-08-2006, 04:11 PM

I really like the poem.. and the first and second stanza....

oh ! ~swissmochafudge~ : its stanza not paragraph!! lol : D

12-17-2005, 06:25 PM	#1
Isis Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 276	One root in the desert, another in the sea At another board we had this contest where we had to write about what Christmas/the holidays meant to us. I turned up my nose and went "lame!" until I realized I had something decent to write about, and a good way to word it. Here's what I entered: In this mass of snow we are the central isle, the Mediterranean. We gather around the island in the kitchen, a copper-pot sky with a wrought iron oven, the sun. A sacrificial lamb will be born at midnight, but for now we have one for our dinner. Waiting for Nicholas to kick off his clogs and join the rest of us (he's late every year - must be a business evening) something sounds from the attic. A three peice band; for all the corners of our ocean we have resonance, we have a song of common kin. __________________ http://www.intunemonthly.com/forums Please click above and help me make a living! Come chat about music at InTune. You want to. You know you do. Cheers!

12-19-2005, 01:04 PM	#3
Imrahil1234 Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 124	like the imagry of the copper pot sky, got to go, at school, will post more later. __________________ I know you'll come back someday On a bed of nails awake I'm praying that you don't burn out Or fade away You're falling back to me The star that I can't see I know you're out there Somewhere out there You're falling out of reach Defying gravity I know you're out there Somewhere out there -Our Lady Peace

01-08-2006, 04:11 PM	#4
daz3026 TeenLit Regular Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 44	love it I really like the poem.. and the first and second stanza.... oh ! ~swissmochafudge~ : its stanza not paragraph!! lol : D __________________ •\|--Daz--\|•

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12-19-2005, 08:46 AM	#2
~swissmochafudge~ Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 156	Nice. I DO like this. For the first paragraph (is that what you call it?) it sounded remarkably like a news report or the such (this could me just me...you never know) but it really picked up after that. Extremely so. I LOVED THIS: We gather around the island in the kitchen, a copper-pot sky with a wrought iron oven, the sun. Woot!