nashville's singing to me

thisismenotyou · 04-12-2006, 07:40 PM

As we got in queue behind all the other kids, I thought, “We finally made it.” It had been a long trip to the little run down looking music hall. The expedition had been plagued with misfortune from hydroplaning across the interstate into a ditch to getting lost in downtown Nashville. I guess I was still surprised we had made it. Hannah was bobbing up and down on her toes the way she does when she gets nervous or excited. Molly kept glancing around surreptitiously for someone with cigarettes. I fiddled with the studs on my belt and tightened my ponytail for the hundredth time that minute. We were close to the door now and I could see inside. It looked a lot nicer than the outside suggested. There were tables with tall bar stools in the middle of the room and a few comfy couches around the walls. A bar was at the end of the room closest to us where they served coffee and smoothie drinks. I could barely make out the handrail that followed the stairs to the lobby, where they sold shirts and merchandise, and a large room with a stage, where the bands would be playing.

We finally made it through the doors and exchanged half our tickets for purple armbands. We were ushered through a metal detector and checked our coats with the women behind the bar. You could barley here the music drifting up the stairs but we followed the herd of people towards it.

They were all kinds of kids there. Hair dyed every color imaginable and sliced in angular and uneven cuts. They were kids with piercings and girls in mini skirts and sandals. We made it down the stairs, through the lobby, and into the large concrete room where the first band, had already started playing. We used the old, “Sorry, we’re looking for our friend” excuse and pushed our way from the side of the stage to front and center.

It was an awesome site. The singer was only just out of reach and was screaming into his microphone with the cord snaking up his arm. The song ended and a new one began. I knew this song! It was one of my favorites! I sang as loud as I could along with the singer but the music was so thunderous I couldn’t even hear myself. The beat started to get to me and I began jumping up and down with the rest of the crowd. We all moved together like one giant bouncy ball. Up. Down. Up. Down. Following the beat of the drums and bass. The guitars soared and plunged behind the lead singer’s quavering vocals. Nothing else mattered but that moment in time. The music moving me with it. In that moment it was like I was the only one in that big hall. They were sing to me, for me, and right then that was all I needed.

Ameerah8 · 04-13-2006, 09:37 AM

cool, i like it. lol, did you actually go to this concert? it sounds fun.

thisismenotyou · 04-13-2006, 10:57 AM

yea i did it was realy fun!!! there were 3 bands and a ton of people!!!! it was awesome!!
Ryanne

herrshuster · 05-08-2006, 12:13 PM

well if you want review, i think it's ok, but the writing is bland. "it was", "there were", etc. Try and spice up the language a bit.

04-12-2006, 07:40 PM	#1
thisismenotyou TeenLit Regular Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 42	nashville's singing to me As we got in queue behind all the other kids, I thought, “We finally made it.” It had been a long trip to the little run down looking music hall. The expedition had been plagued with misfortune from hydroplaning across the interstate into a ditch to getting lost in downtown Nashville. I guess I was still surprised we had made it. Hannah was bobbing up and down on her toes the way she does when she gets nervous or excited. Molly kept glancing around surreptitiously for someone with cigarettes. I fiddled with the studs on my belt and tightened my ponytail for the hundredth time that minute. We were close to the door now and I could see inside. It looked a lot nicer than the outside suggested. There were tables with tall bar stools in the middle of the room and a few comfy couches around the walls. A bar was at the end of the room closest to us where they served coffee and smoothie drinks. I could barely make out the handrail that followed the stairs to the lobby, where they sold shirts and merchandise, and a large room with a stage, where the bands would be playing. We finally made it through the doors and exchanged half our tickets for purple armbands. We were ushered through a metal detector and checked our coats with the women behind the bar. You could barley here the music drifting up the stairs but we followed the herd of people towards it. They were all kinds of kids there. Hair dyed every color imaginable and sliced in angular and uneven cuts. They were kids with piercings and girls in mini skirts and sandals. We made it down the stairs, through the lobby, and into the large concrete room where the first band, had already started playing. We used the old, “Sorry, we’re looking for our friend” excuse and pushed our way from the side of the stage to front and center. It was an awesome site. The singer was only just out of reach and was screaming into his microphone with the cord snaking up his arm. The song ended and a new one began. I knew this song! It was one of my favorites! I sang as loud as I could along with the singer but the music was so thunderous I couldn’t even hear myself. The beat started to get to me and I began jumping up and down with the rest of the crowd. We all moved together like one giant bouncy ball. Up. Down. Up. Down. Following the beat of the drums and bass. The guitars soared and plunged behind the lead singer’s quavering vocals. Nothing else mattered but that moment in time. The music moving me with it. In that moment it was like I was the only one in that big hall. They were sing to me, for me, and right then that was all I needed. __________________ Ashley: i'm sry for the come here-go away trip i've been putting you through Spencer: ok...whay would you do that? Ashley: because i want you...and i don't wanna hurt you Spencer: i can take care of myself...and with some left to take care of you

04-13-2006, 09:37 AM	#2
Ameerah8 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 214	cool, i like it. lol, did you actually go to this concert? it sounds fun. __________________ Birds of a feather flock together, And so will pigs and swine; Rats and mice can have their choice And so will I have mine.

04-13-2006, 10:57 AM	#3
thisismenotyou TeenLit Regular Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 42	yea i did it was realy fun!!! there were 3 bands and a ton of people!!!! it was awesome!! Ryanne __________________ Ashley: i'm sry for the come here-go away trip i've been putting you through Spencer: ok...whay would you do that? Ashley: because i want you...and i don't wanna hurt you Spencer: i can take care of myself...and with some left to take care of you

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05-08-2006, 12:13 PM	#4
herrshuster TeenLit Newbie Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 25	well if you want review, i think it's ok, but the writing is bland. "it was", "there were", etc. Try and spice up the language a bit.