"Three Last Days" (essay)

[clockwork]

If you have read the essay by Helen Keller, than you may notice a relation between her essay and mine. My Gr. 9 english teacher assigned us to make an essay sort of based on hers all the way back in September. Now i am supposed to make a third draft of the essay for a large chunk of my mark. Please give me as much feedback, critique, ideas, etc. to help me improve my story.(plz also take a look at my short story and give feedback on it too)

Here is my story


Three Last Days

As said by Helen Keller, humans normally do not use their senses to the best of

their ability. Say for example, someone driving by a beautiful park will not really notice

the astounding amount of flourishing colours in the flowerbed stretching along the side of

the park. But, if a person were to only have three days until one of their five senses were

lost it is most likely that the person will then pay a great amount more of attention to the

things they can sense with that particular sense. Another situation is if a person were to

die in three days and knew it they certainly would not live their life normally, going to

work everyday, coming home, eating dinner but would instead live it in the most extreme

way they could, either if it is getting together with their whole family to say their own

goodbyes or go bungee jumping and sky diving since there is no point in worrying about

a risk of dying.


If I were to die in three days I would not want to be relaxing on the sandy beaches

because I would not really be able to relax for I would die in three days but instead I

would want make the most of my three last days through thrilling things and unique

things that I would probably never get around to doing in my normal life. I would sky

dive, bungee jump and much more of the same sort.


The first day I would start planning out and making arrangements for the second

day as quickly as possible so no time would be wasted. I would talk to all my friends and

get them involved in my plans so my last days would be more enjoyable. Some things I

might plan out to do with my friends would be to have a humongous paintball game since

this is one of my most favourite hobbies. Then my friends and I would go sky diving,

which is something that would be a very unique thrilling experience. I would also go

white water rafting, which I have heard from many people is very exciting. Finally, for

the night we would rent a couple very scary movies to watch with a television outside in

the dark.



The second day will be the greatest day of them all. The day I would execute all

my plans! I would buy tons of paintballs to shoot at all my friends while playing capture

the flag. Next onto skydiving, getting pushed out of the plane by my friend who is getting

impatient! All of a sudden I am battling the white water waves with a paddle while

twisting and turning through the heaving, unmerciful rapids. Finally we would spook

ourselves out by watching the scariest movies that we could rent and those movies would

be watched… outside… in the dark… hopefully… gloomy night.


The third day I would tie up some loose ends. Who would get all of my prized

possessions? Of course, my friends would get all my prized possessions! I would be the

happiest to see my friends keeping those items that are precious to me. I would make

peace with people if I have to because I would not to create even more sorrow than there

would have to be. My family is one of the most important things to me and I cannot

forget them. I would dedicate myself to my family for the remainder of the day. Finally

the last pleasure of the three precious final days of my life, I would eat a filling, delicious

meal.


In an essay written by Helen Keller, she stated a philosophy that can make

people’s lives more enjoyable, “always live each day to the best of your ability as if you

would die tomorrow.” I think I will start tomorrow. I wander how expensive skydiving

is?




Once again, i ask you to please submit feedback to my essay, please.

[daz3026]

i love it. espaceially that helen keller part beacause i think shes a wonderful woman and ive done lots of research on her.