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Old 08-15-2005, 11:27 PM   #2
JEM's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 425

Great story Sempron 101.

I like the storyline, the ending, and the details.

The only changes that I would make are:
1. Explain why people thought winter was odd.
2. Change this sentence, "I had never seen anything but beauty come from her house." It doesn't quite sound right.
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