its hard to understand. i think you should go into more detail about what incubis, desciples, and templars are. at times i was confused about the incubis and their trap. also at the very end, i got lost-
“Sir I’m am sorry they are to stro…” The general chocked. He coughed and spluttered. Then he began gagging on something stuck in his throat. After minutes of this torture the general vomited buckets of black oil and died. The templar’s released their curse and condemned him to hell.
“The disciples are not strong, the light is not strong… you are not strong.” Interrupted the templars!
i do not under stand that part at all.
Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic.
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail.
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.