Thread: A Second Chance
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Old 06-24-2006, 08:44 AM   #1
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Default A Second Chance

(This is an idea I had with elements from ancient Egyptian mythology that I've twisted with my sick little mind to make a short story. If anyone could give comments or helpful criticism it would be much appreciated)

Jacob flailed out unconsciously, gasping. He had no idea where he was, but wherever it was, it was dark and cool. The last thing he remembered doing was walking down the street, following his target, though it wasn't uncommon for him to pass out and lose about five minutes of memory until he really concentrated on digging them out. His eyes were still blurry from the haze that formed in front of them when he stood up too fast and didn't take a breath. Why hadn't he sat down and began the breathing exercises? Jacob knew the signs, why hadn't he paid attention to them?

Moving to sit up, Jacob palmed the hard surface beneath him and swept his hands out. It felt metallic, cool to the touch and perfectly smooth. As he probed, he felt the surface begin to ascend slowly, then curve upwards at an increasingly sharper rate before stopping at a rounded edge. Pulling himself up onto wobbly legs, Jacob leaned on the metal until he was stable enough to stand on his own.

"I see you're now awake," a deep, booming voice called from behind him. Turning quickly, he lost his footing on the curved surface and slipped, falling hard on his tailbone, the once solid metal surface rocking slightly.

"Who the hell are you!?" Jacob screamed, angry and frightened, tailbone beginning to sting. "Where the hell am I!"

"Maybe a little light will illuminate this situation." With an almost imperceptible click, the darkness was instantly banished and in it's place leapt a cold light, totally surrounding Jacob, yet causing no shadow to form on the bronze walls around him, which he could now see formed a perfectly circular cup. Before him stood an impossibly large man, towering over Jacob to the backdrop of a dark abyss .He was in perfect proportion to a normal man, minus the godlike physique, and dressed only in a headdress and a simple loincloth. Yet the thing that glared most violently out to Jacob was that the man seemed to have the head of a dog!

"What the hell are you, you freak?" Jacob uttered, barely audible, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging open. He'd never been so terrified in his whole life. Even if he hadn't already been on the floor his legs would never have held him.

The dog-headed man continued slowly in the huge, resonating voice, "I am Anput, though you may know me as Anubis. I am ruler of the Underworld and judge of the dead. Look about you; You may find answers that you seek."

Jacob stood slowly, reaching behind to once again steady himself against the bowls rim. Not wanting to take his eyes off of the creature but finding himself physically unable to resist, he slowly turned his head to see....... that he was standing in the cup of a giant scale! The cups themselves floated in the abyss, perfectly aligned with each other across from a metal pole rearing alone in the darkness, looming up to a point high above him.

The god Anubis floated closer to Jacob and coughed, cleared his throat, then continued in a much more human tone, "You've been a very bad boy, Jakey. I hardly know what to do with you! What with all the lying, cheating, drinking and gambling, I'm having a very hard time finding any redeeming qualities to judge your bad side against! And you really should be better to your mother. She tries, you know?"

Jacob felt like smoking the god in his smug face, if he'd been able to reach him. This freak didn't know anything about him! He'd done much worse things than Anubis had listed, and who did he think he was giving his advice on Jacob's relationship with the hag who had squirted him out!? This freak knew nothing.

"Oooh, bad choice of thoughts there, Jakey. You never want to tell, or even think," the gods voice took a lighthearted tone, then bent suddenly into a sinister growl, "that an omnipotent being doesn't know. Though, I am feeling especially benevolent today, even towards the dregs of the earth such as yourself. I left out the rest of your charges out of good taste, but since you're so proud of yourself, why don't I refresh your memory."

Anubis' voice once again took on its godlike tones, though this time they were deep and accusing, causing stabs of guilt and anguish that Jacob had never previously felt. "MURDER, RAPE, ADULTERY, PREJUDICE, AND APATHY TOWARDS ALL BUT YOURSELF. THESE ARE BUT A FEW OF YOUR CHARGES; DO YOU WISH FOR ME TO CONTINUE?"

At this point Jacob had burst into tears and was now sobbing with greif. "No, please, no, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, so very sorry, please stop! I'll repent, I'll do anything, just please stop it!"

The god looked down upon the pitiful creature and smiled, voice now showing an unsurpassable compassion, "Yes, you will get your chance at redemption. But it will come with a price. Goodbye, Jacob, and make a better use of your life this time around."

Jacob awoke slowly, his head throbbing, anesthesia making him groggy. Slowly pushing himself into a sitting position with his arms, he looked down at himself. He was dressed in a hospital gown , the bottom half of his body hidden underneath sheets. Easing himself slowly back down, he tried to slide himself off of the bed but found himself unable to move his legs. Jacob tried to remember the dream he'd just had, but couldn't bring it to mind. It felt as if it had been very important, but as the waking world grasped him and pulled him farther into consciousness, if slipped from importance to irrelevency. Trying to focus but failing, he found himself staring blankly at the ceiling.

Suddenly, a womans voice cut through the silent hospital room, rocking him out of his stupor and back to the real world. "Jake, oh, my little Jake, you're back, you're finally awake, you've been asleep for the last two days!" The woman rushed from her chair pressed against the wall and enclosed him in an all-encompassing bear hug, sobbing with joy against his chest. Slowly regaining composure, she pulled away and, holding him softly at arms length, began explaining what had happened.

"You fainted in the middle of the road. The it wasn't able to stop. It ran over both of your legs. The doctors say that they should heal though, and that you'll be able to walk again with therapy. Honey, I know we've had problems, but lets put those things behind us and look forwards." The woman finish with a tearful smile and waited.

Jacob stared at her for several seconds, then slowly asked, "Who are you?"
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