Thread: coments anyone?
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Old 05-03-2006, 07:22 AM   #1
TeenLit Newbie
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 6
Default coments anyone?

hey im not really big on rhym but i was just in the mood for it... any sugestions on how i could improve? i get the feeling that it doesnt quite flow as well as it should and i think it might be a bit stereotypical.. anyway tell me what you think

Stone cold
Expressionless faces,
False ideas
In plastic cases,
Thin, dark lips
Hollow eyes,
Hearts filled with hate,
Minds filled with lies
Zombies of love
Living off the lonely
Never pursuing
A one and only,
Taking souls
And only burning them
Absorbing feelings,
Without returning them
A world of
Empty mindless beings,
Peering in yet
Still not seeing
Unable to forget,
Unable to forgive
Living as only
The desperate live
True love has died out,
It seems overrated
Soon everyone here
Will hate and be hated
The world is set fire,
Ignited by pain
Zombies turn to ashes
Never to love again…
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