[thisismenotyou]

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When I got home that night my parents were waiting in the living room. I could feel another talk coming on. I sat across from them on the couch and steadied myself against its arm. We sat like that for a couple of minutes before my dad said, “Your mother got a job.” I just looked at them, waiting for more. I knew there was more. “In Carolina…North Carolina…with a local law firm doing there books. We’re moving there at the end of the month. We uh already found a nice house down the road from the high school there and… well we’re moving.” I sat there and let this sink in. Carolina? Well, this would be a change from New York. I had no clue what North Carolina was like. What the kids wore there or did for fun or more important what music they listened to. “We’ll be living on the coast so there’s a beach,” my dad continued to ramble not noticing I had checked out long ago. “Sakesville. Yep. That’s the name of it. Sakesville, North Caroli-.”

“Well,” my mom interrupted. “We put some boxes downstairs in your room so you can pack all your belongings. You need to have your things ready to go by Friday; I think that’s the twenty-first. We’re leaving first thing Saturday morning.” The whole time I hadn’t said a word. That’s how these things usually went. They talked and talked and talked and I would just sit there and space until my mother would give me her little nod, which meant we were finished and I could go to my room or back to what I had been doing.

My mother was always so formal while my father was laid back and casual. They were complete opposites. I never could understand how they had gotten together in the first place. Mom was the disciplinarian. If I ever wanted something or to go somewhere I asked dad. I knew just the way to break him. He was the easy one. I fell back to reality just in time to catch my mother nodding her head at me. I got up and wondered into the kitchen for a snack before going down to my room.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I found some Doritos and half a bottle of Pepsi in the fridge. I ate them on my bed, flipping through the television channels for an hour before I even looked at the boxes stacked in the corner. They were calling away me from my bed and I tried to ignore it but I ultimately gave in, sifting through my possessions and strategically arranging them in the cardboard containers. I put all my cds in alphabetical order in one box my books on another. I set a separate box aside for Sam’s stuff. Her cds, her clothes, anything I had borrowed or that she had left behind. She had left a lot behind, including me. Why? I wondered. Was it so bad being my friend?

I shook off the on coming assault of answerless questions and tried to focus on packing. I picked out clothes for the rest of the week and shoved the rest in my suitcases I had gotten for Christmas the year before. Who buys a fifteen year old luggage? My mother that who. The only things I didn’t close up in boxes was my backpack stuff. I always had my backpack with me. It had some of my most important possessions. My ipod, my notebook, cell phone, lucky pencil, etc. I put my birthday presents from Sam in the pile except for the picture because I didn’t want the glass to get broken. By the time I finished sorting and packing I was about ready to pass out. I went to my bathroom and took four Advil for the headache I could feel creeping up and changed into my pajamas. I brushed my teeth, took out my contacts, put on my glasses and stared steadily at myself in the mirror. I’ve discovered that if you look at yourself long enough then it’s like you’re not even there. I pulled myself out of the trance before it got that far. I suddenly feel the exhaustion sweeping back over me and I began stumbling toward my bed. I hit the light switch and was out before I could even think about taking off my glasses.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Friday came around quickly considering I did absolutely nothing all week. I mean my best friend was gone so what was there to do besides hang around my room or shoot basketball by myself in the drive way. My parents spent all week planning themselves a small going away dinner party. I opted to stay down in my room. I was just not up to answering all the stupid questions grown ups always ask about school, sports, and boyfriends. I usually lied when I did answer anyway just to see what they would say. But I just couldn’t handle it.




******ok so R && R && tell me what you think. umm j/ a few notes: the spaces are there b/c i haven't decided people's last names yet so..... i j/ left a space for it. ummm ok so maybe i only had one note...neways j/ err yea that's all.
Ryanne