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Search: Posts Made By: Isis
Forum: Poetry For Review 10-31-2006, 05:58 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 48
Posted By Isis
setting up camp

setting up camp

We invaded. We sent not armies,
felt no avalanche of headlines, no official sagging sheafs.
Instead we picked up our homes, looked underneath
couch cushions, porches, the car that...
Forum: Poetry For Review 10-31-2006, 05:57 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 118
Posted By Isis
NO WAY JOSE. Similies and metaphors are what make...

NO WAY JOSE.
Similies and metaphors are what make a poem interesting, and make a poem poetic. If you're just spilling your thoughts onto paper...maybe it's emotionally accurate for you, but it...
Forum: Poetry For Review 10-09-2006, 10:10 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 145
Posted By Isis
I got a couple of things to say. One is about...

I got a couple of things to say. One is about your philosiphy, one is about your poem. Poem goes first.

As a poem, I'm relieved that this has some imagary, but it is imagary that's overused in poems...
Forum: The Writer's Lounge 09-17-2006, 05:26 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 568
Posted By Isis
Yeah, I kind of wanted to say something about...

Yeah, I kind of wanted to say something about crushing arrogance here, but now I know I'm not the only one thinking that.
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-16-2006, 11:14 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 72
Posted By Isis
a war-torn neighbor

He stands starting at my shelves,
shoulder blades puckered under white shirt
like they were wings, once.
"I never got there," he says, running a ricket-finger
over the oldest spines, carrying on a...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-10-2006, 03:16 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 67
Posted By Isis
you can't really tell someone their opinion is...

you can't really tell someone their opinion is wrong. you can think it's wrong, but it's still opinion.
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 09:29 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 87
Posted By Isis
turntimetable

These older days, August
with the slightly acid combination
of the Bronte sisters, high noon,
and the tinkling of the ice-cream truck
on another street - never ours.
They'll come out blacked or...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 09:28 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 52
Posted By Isis
a route out

These maps have closed me in.
At first they were crisscross, carved-name
window frames, outlining
the flat colors found beyond this room
( stacked with enough staccato black&white
to make even...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 09:19 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 67
Posted By Isis
Putting a title that gives another dimension to...

Putting a title that gives another dimension to the poem is pretty fun. Your title tells kind of what this might be about, which works, but you can make the title more part of your poem [and less of...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 09:10 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 125
Posted By Isis
The beginning got me impressed, and pulled into...

The beginning got me impressed, and pulled into this poem. I liked on the first reading, and the linebreaks are interesting; most of them work, some don't, but then again - when I get critiqued, I...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 09:00 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 155
Posted By Isis
I know this is old, BUT! I l really love the...

I know this is old, BUT! I l really love the paper idea you had in the beginning, and I think that you could do another version of this poem where the whoooolle thing is this extended metaphor,...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 08:57 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 103
Posted By Isis
It would be nice if you accompanied this raw...

It would be nice if you accompanied this raw storyline with some imagary or metaphor; at the moment its ok, gives a good impression of what's going, but kind of lacks poetic meat - I want something...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 08:54 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 138
Posted By Isis
actually, you don't even need that last line. it...

actually, you don't even need that last line. it might be one of those times when a rhetorical question works well. Again, short and sweet - you could leave it as is, or save it for later...
Forum: Poetry For Review 09-05-2006, 08:52 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 127
Posted By Isis
Short and sweet; I liked it, but you could...

Short and sweet; I liked it, but you could develop some of these ideas a little more. The title tells us a lot, so you can be pretty metaphorical throughout, and don't have to be literal


and I'm...
Forum: The Writer's Lounge 09-02-2006, 02:10 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 568
Posted By Isis
sister, there are a lot of people in this world...

sister, there are a lot of people in this world that need to have this shouted at them more explosively than "carpe diem!"
Forum: The TeenLit Lounge 08-14-2006, 10:47 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 160
Posted By Isis
lol i think I'm taking just as many ;]

lol i think I'm taking just as many
;]
Forum: The TeenLit Lounge 08-13-2006, 10:57 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 180
Posted By Isis
my three favorite teachers made sure I busted my...

my three favorite teachers made sure I busted my elitist ass and had something to show for it at the end of the day; they all taught with a sense of humor, would joke around with the class sometimes,...
Forum: Poetry For Review 07-30-2006, 11:43 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 98
Posted By Isis
as the footsteps

It's always the marching
that gets me. Usually
I can shut my ears,
fill them with underwater,
the green muffled world of wildest dreams;
but when the steps resound, proud,
my traitor heart beats...
Forum: Poetry For Review 07-23-2006, 11:41 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 101
Posted By Isis
At the moment, this is kind of plain; it's...

At the moment, this is kind of plain; it's understandable and I like that you used the birthday to get across content and discontent, and the feeling that you only want something that is far from...
Forum: Poetry For Review 07-22-2006, 08:18 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 89
Posted By Isis
wilderness funhouse

If yesterday dreams like a feeling,
then we all become raven-haired.

In time's return, the this-that
of a century paid for a few more taken,
the graying of old leathered souls
gets pulled, strand by...
Forum: Poetry For Review 06-23-2006, 11:35 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 114
Posted By Isis
This is a nice memory to put into a poem, and the...

This is a nice memory to put into a poem, and the ending works, but I feel like something is missing. I want more details about the canyon itself [and the details you give and how you word them give...
Forum: Poetry For Review 06-21-2006, 10:40 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 141
Posted By Isis
of course! I'd be honored.

of course! I'd be honored.
Forum: Poetry For Review 06-18-2006, 12:24 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 364
Posted By Isis
Poetry is personal, but it is also an art. Its...

Poetry is personal, but it is also an art. Its personal in that you can put some of yourself, or your ideas or your voice, into a work of art that will have meaning for others. It doesn't have to be...
Forum: The TeenLit Lounge 06-18-2006, 01:00 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 611
Posted By Isis
hahaha! I just finished that massive truck of...

hahaha! I just finished that massive truck of insanity known as those two AP courses together. Have you ever taken chemistry before? I hadn't. And I'd only had the first half of world history - about...
Forum: Poetry For Review 06-18-2006, 12:53 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 179
Posted By Isis
I like your poetry and I like parts of this....

I like your poetry and I like parts of this. Tough love indeed =] I know you won't be offended. I like that.


this is interesting though; could be a trick to rewrite, but I think you're easily...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 311

 
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