12/12/99, eWeb Forum: Submissions
Subject: It's... cute? [subject line gives away tone & decision of participant]
Now, how old is this person? It's cute, i guess, to read those little puppy love stories about people in their teens, but most of the times it's trite and not really that entertaining. and especially with 5th grade romance, it leans a little towards the corny side [gut reaction]. i think where this story lost it's credibility was at the beginning where she (or he?) kept contradicting herself on how she felt about him [more specific feedback]. it seemed.. childish. oh, nevermind [sic]. obviously it was supposed to be that way. overall, this isn't bad writing. it could use a whole lot of revision, and a little less seriousness [advice], as it's really easy to laugh at. "monotonous forests" is a little too much for this piece. I wouldn't say 'scrap it', Emma *smile* but don't publish this [decision]. 10 year old love? gag me with a wooden spoon.
See handout, Figure 1