teen

[ Contents | Search | Post | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]

Re: knifes

Must_be_at_least_13_years_old: am
From: vada
Category: Ideas
Date: 26 Jul 2000

Comments

alright, first off, the plural of knife is knives, so you might want to be sure you revise before you post. that can really get your audience off to a bad start. this poem wasn't bad, but it could really use some more imagery. saying "entangled in your web" is slightly redundant, as most poetry dealing with "webs" is usually about being trapped. try to come up with an image that hasn't been used before.

also, this is just aesthetic, don't use slashes (/) or fun spelling (you=u) in poetry. it makes the reader doubt your intelligence and it doesn't look very good.

i really liked "i've been lost in your space"

good job. will we see a re-write?

Last changed: March 22, 2001

If you like this site, click here to Recommend-It
This site designed and maintained by WizardZone