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Re: Ophelia

Must_be_at_least_13_years_old: am
From: Carmen T
Category: Feedback to writing published on TeenLit.com
Date: 24 May 2000

Comments

This poem had a good concept behind it but needs some work. It's obvious that this poem is about a poor soul who is constantly examined but never has her pain acknowledged. That is a great concept, and there are some outstanding poetic devices.

HOWEVER (there's always a however)

You phrase your stanzas the same way three times, which, in my not-so-humble opinion, bores the reader. I was thinking "Haven't I read this before?" during the last two stanzas. My advice; just let it come. If you want to write a sonnet, or something with a set rhyme scheme, or a poem with a repetitive way of phrasing, fine. That can often add to the power of the poem. But if it makes the poem sound forced, restricted, or in any way hindered, the boundaries should be scrapped. Color outside the lines. It's fun. I'd absolutely love to see a rewrite of this.

Last changed: March 22, 2001

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